A New Beginning

This is officially my last morning at the Delenne's. This past week I've been anxiously waiting for the move, half wishing I could stay in my first host family, and the other half just ready to feel settled down again in a new home. When I left for exchange, my only worry was adjusting to life with a new family. Would they be friendly and welcoming? Or, would they be like my sister's host family in Spain; completely ignoring me and calling me a barbarian when I held my fork incorrectly at the dinner table? All those uncertainties and fears quickly diminished when I arrived; my host family was eagerly waiting at the terminal where they warmly greeted me with wide smiles and bisous.

Now that I have to leave at 4:30 this afternoon, I'm awaiting a new arrival. Sure, my French is better and I know a little more of what to expect. Nevertheless, I'm leaving a family that I love and a life that I've grown comfortable with. Antoine left this morning for a friend's house and we took our last pictures, filmed our last videos together, played a few more games of Ninja, and hugged about a bazillion times. I was doing all right until he walked out the door and I started crying. If it's this hard to move 15 minutes away, I don't even want to know what it'll feel like when I have to leave France at the end of the year.

To be completely honest, today almost feels like I'm starting all over again. This evening, I'll have to ask the few first awkward questions such as, "What name can I call you?" and "When is a good time to use the shower?" For the next few mornings, I won't know what time to wake up and whether or not I can eat breakfast in my pajamas. The initial uncertainties are back and I'm not sure what to expect. Everything is changing yet again, and now it feels even more difficult than my arrival because I'm so happy with the Delenne's.

Over four months have passed, and I've realize this year really does pass in a flash. Just yesterday, it felt like I was hugging my parents goodbye and lugging my suitcase to the airport. I vividly remember my arrival in France, my first view of Privas, and my first dinner of provençale tomatoes, eggs, cornichons, and saucisson. I've done so much while I've been here and I've already made lasting relationships, but I also can't remember the last time 4 months flew by this quickly.

Change will always be difficult. I'm starting another new life, but at the same time, this change (like every one before) means I have to leave something behind. I'm so grateful for the Delenne's and everything they've done to make me a part of their family. All I can do now is wait and have faith that everything will turn out for the best.

The Holidays

                                   Ardèche: Take 2 Days After Christmas

Now that the holidays are over, I'm happy to say the blues of being away from home are gone once again. Christmas came and Christmas went, and I somehow managed to survive it all. To be honest, I did miss my home and family, Wagilia (Polish Christmas Eve), Christmas cookies, Yankee Trader, and all the other traditions that an American/Polish Christmas entails, but I tried my best to push those feelings aside this year. After all, this is my only Christmas with the Delenne's in France, and I will have the rest of my life to celebrate Christmas with my family in America.

Most of the celebrations for Christmas this year took place on the 24th. Anne had to work early on Christmas Day, so we had our big dinner and opened presents the night before. I'm not going to lie and say I was in love with the French version of Christmas dinner. There was a lot of food (mostly meat) that I had never tried before, and while I gave everything a shot, some dishes were a little difficult to stomach. Here's the menu:

Appetizers: Oysters and Foie Gras. I slurped back an oyster for the first time while everyone took a break in the celebrations and conversation to stare at me in silence and take pictures. Talk about pressure! Before that oyster went anywhere near my mouth, I smothered it in lemon juice and tried to gain composure. (I've never been a seafood fan.) It all went down in one swallow and I was relieved that it was over. Or so I thought. Next came the foie gras. This one was especially difficult for me because I know about the torture that ducks endure for foie gras to be made. Basically, a metal pipe is jammed down the duck's throat, and it is force-fed a high volume of food until the duck's liver is 10 times its normal size. (I know this because I had just signed a petition against the practice that morning). Talk about bad timing.

Now that we're on the topic, this is one thing I have been struggling with for a long time: meat eating vs. morals. For the past couple years, I have been going back and forth on whether or not I should be vegetarian. I love animals so much, and every time I eat meat, I think about where it came from and what type of life it lived. For some people, this is enough to quit eating meat, and I respect that completely. On the other hand, it's been a little more complicated for me. I'm not so much against eating meat as I am against the food industry and animal cruelty. It's only natural for humans to eat animals and I hate being rude by turning down food. Even more so, when there is meat served on a table, I would never want that animal to have died and gone to waste. Therefore, I'm trying out a new method where I choose vegetarian options for myself, but I will still eat meat if it is served.

I guess I've just gone on a major tangent, so I'll make a not-so-fluid attempt at getting back to the story: I did eat the foie gras to be polite, but I do not see it appearing again in my diet any time soon.

Entrées: Langouste (lobstery-crayfish) and chapon (I think it's a rooster).

There you go. Four different meat dishes, and not a whole lot of dessert. It was a difficult meal, but I'm not super-picky, so I got through it with not a whole lot left on my plate.

After the meal, we opened presents. I received the prettiest necklace and earrings, and I know I will always wear them to remind me of the wonderful time I had with the Delenne's. Cheesy but true on my part. For my host family, my real parents sent a quilt that my mom made as a thank-you for having me. All the designs and color equaled a thoughtful blend of America and France, and my host family loved it. (Thanks Mom!)

On Christmas, I got the chance to Skype with my family back home during their celebrations. It was great to see everyone, although the first thing Dziadzi (Grandpa) said to me was, "Hayley - it sure looks like you've been gaining some weight over there!" Should have seen that one coming.

All in all, it was a good Christmas. Different, but good. My parents sent me a lovely watch and some books, which I've already devoured, along with stretchy pants from my sister (needed after the package filled with Nutter Butters and Reese's that came from my favorite teacher in the whole world. (Mrs. Marsh!) Besides that, my cioci (aunt), uncle, and cousins sent a package filled with a beautifully hand-knit scarf among other goodies. Every present that I opened this year made me the happiest kid on earth. Not so much because of all the gifts, but because I realized just how lucky I was to have the best family (and host family for that matter) in the world. Change has been a consistent part of my life since graduation, and I know there is plenty more to come, but I'm so grateful for the family and friends that remain constant through the nonstop chaos. Joyeux Noël and Bonne Année everyone!

Relief of a True Vacation

This is going to be a short post because not much has happened since the last time I wrote. I've been having an extremely laid-back vacation with lots of t.v. watching, eating, and sleeping, so nothing out of the norm. The only really important news is that I finished my college applications! After months of hard work, I am officially applied for the second time. I have changed a lot since last year and I hope that is apparent on my application. Now that I'm finished (pretty sure this will be my last time with the common app), I feel free as a bird and am so ready to enjoy the rest of vacation. Happy Holidays!

Museums Galore in Germany

                                               Frankfurt Opera House

Sorry in advance if this blog is kind of long. I'm going to try to keep it short because I still have a lot of college work to do, but a lot has happened since my last post. I arrived in France last night, and although Germany was amazing, I was happy to get back to the mild winter weather in Privas. (Although Anne just told me we were supposed to get snow soon.)

On Monday evening, I went to a Rotary dinner in Weilburg. One of the German correspondents was a Rotary exchange student last year, and she invited me to come to the dinner. The German Rotary club was pretty similar to the one in Privas; the main difference being the types of drinks at the table. In the French Rotary, the table is filled with an endless array of French wine, but of course in Germany, every Rotary member sat down to a foot-tall glass of authentic German beer. If you ever need to tell the difference between countries' Rotary clubs for some strange reason, just glance at the drinks on the table, and I guarantee you will guess correctly.

Tuesday was an excursion to Frankfurt. It wasn't the prettiest looking city, and I was absolutely freezing whole day, but I still had a good time. I spent all day with two other French students, and we toured the city, went to a museum of modern art, ate at Starbucks, and I finished all my Christmas shopping. The museum of modern art was disturbing and gross and I didn't like it at all. There was this one terrible exhibit which everyone thought was so cool. They basically had a screen showing an live elephant being tortured in a small, completely white room. I think the artist wanted to show the movement of the animal, but from what I understood, the tour guide said that the artist couldn't film the elephant in its natural habitat, so they put it in this studio for for I don't know how long, and had cameras filming in every different angle. It was absolutely disgusting and I was relieved when we were finally able to leave. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see art in something like that.

 On Wednesday, we went to a mathematics museum in Gießen and it was much better than the art museum in Frankfurt. I thought a math museum would be pretty boring, but it was pretty much all hands-on activities, optical illusions, and photo-ops. As you can see, I took advantage of all the photo-ops:

Thursday was my last day in Germany, and I spent the day in Bonn, a city which used to be the capital of Germany. I liked Bonn a lot more than Frankfurt, and for the first time all week, there was a break in the rain. Our first stop was the Haribo candy store. (The Haribo company started in Bonn.) I kind of went overboard with all my purchases, but I was too excited and I hadn't really been thinking at the time. Besides that, the only other cool thing I got to see there was Beethoven's house. I didn't actually take a tour of the house because I had spent all morning boosting Haribo up to position one in the stock market, but I decided to eat my lunch in his doorway just to get the most out of my visit.

 I was in a melancholic mood by the time we left the next morning. I had a wonderful host family in Germany, and I wasn't looking forward to the 12 hour bus trip back to Privas. In addition, I decided to listen to Christmas music on my iPod, which made me cry a little because I was thinking of my family back at home in America. Although, I guess I kind of brought that one upon myself. Things are better now that I'm back and well adjusted in Privas, and I'm overly happy that it is officially winter vacation!

Christmastime in Germany

                                                   Weilburg, Germany

I started packing for Germany at about 9 pm the day before departure. As always, I procrastinated, but to be fair, I had been running a lot of errands that day, so it's not like I was lounging on the couch from dusk 'til dawn. When Anne picked me up from school, I had to go the supermarket, withdraw money from the ATM, do my laundry, clean my room, take out my trash, pack my lunch, mail some letters at the post office, Skype my parents, and finish season two of Desperate Housewives. That evening, I was scrambling around and throwing a week's worth of clothes into an impossibly small duffel (it was either this or my ginormous suitcase that I brought to France).

I finished packing an hour later, and I decided to treat my new suede boots with water-protectant and black polish. That was a mistake. I really should have gone outside to do it, and I don't know why I didn't, but I was really stupid and figured I could just treat them in my bedroom. About five minutes after I was done, I noticed black specks all over the closet, the floor, and my bedcover. I immediately went into panic mode and tried to use everything I had to clean up the mess: Clorox wipes, tissues, and a tide-to-go pen. Nothing worked. I was freaking out, and spent the next 10 minutes debating whether or not I should go tell Anne. Since she was going to find out eventually, I decided to break the news to her despite my humiliation. I walked the walk of shame to the living room where she was watching t.v. with my host dad and I told her the news. Anne took it all with good humor and assured me I was worrying way too much after my 20th apology. I don't know how or why I got placed with this host family, but I thank the exchange gods everyday for my good luck.

The next morning I woke up feeling awfully sick. I couldn't breathe through my nose and my throat was scratchy. This all probably happened because I slept in a room full of toxic shoe polish fumes, but I guess I deserved some kind of punishment. The bus ride was 12 hours of misery. Every 2 seconds I had to blow my nose, and I wasn't able to get any sleep because everyone was constantly shouting the whole way there. We took about 45 minutes for lunch, and that was one of the more exciting parts of the day. Anne had bought me so much food at the supermarket. She knows that I eat a lot, so she bought me my own baguette, ham, miniature cheese packages, yop (drinkable yogurt), tabouli, an apple, M&M's, caramel candies, and chocolate biscuits. It was a good lunch.

We arrived in Weilburg at 8:30. I met my German correspondent, Dela (who was an exchange student in the States last year), and her family. They were all very nice and welcoming, and they all knew English very well, so that was what we all spoke. I felt really bad about not speaking German because I don't like resorting to English when I'm in a different country, but I have never taken a German class in my life, so I didn't have much of a choice. Honestly, it was really difficult for me to switch back to speaking in English. Now that I've been speaking French for over 3 months, I think in French, and there were several times throughout the first night where I automatically switched to French.

The next morning at 7:30(!), I started my first day of German high school with Dela. I went to her math class, and I noticed that most of the students where more serious and quiet during class than in French or American high school. This is probably because it was so early in the morning and people were still half-sleeping (I know I was) but I don't know for sure.

Two other things about German school:

1) The school lunches look really good. I didn't actually order anything because Dela's mom packed us lunches and the food was expensive anyway, but they had a booth for hot chocolate, tea, and coffee, another booth for muffins, desserts, and baked goods, and I think the main area was serving soup and delicious-looking sandwiches.

2) The language programs here are so much better than in America. Kids start learning English vocabulary and simple phrases in Grade 1, and by Grade 5, they are already taking more difficult English classes that are more like our beginning foreign language classes in middle school or the beginning of high school. I asked one girl in Dela's grade if she was learning grammar and verb conjugations in English class at the moment. She told me that they were reading English literature and analyzing it. That made me feel pretty stupid.

 On Friday afternoon, the French students and their correspondents boarded a bus for Limburg, where we all went ice skating. At first, I was the pathetic one who was clinging to the wall and taking baby steps, but by the end, I was able to skate semi-decently all by myself. (The picture above is of me and Marilyn, who is another French student from Vincent d'Indy in Germany right now). We spent the rest of the evening shopping around the Christmas market in Limburg. Germany does Christmas pretty darn well. There were so many quaint city squares with Christmas trees, pretty lights, people playing Christmas music, booths full of hot cider and warm food, and artisans selling their crafts. It made me a little homesick because I was with a bunch of German teenagers I didn't know very well, and since I couldn't really talk to them, I hung behind and thought of how it would be nice for my family to be there to walk around the Christmas market with me.

On Saturday, I went to a Christmas concert at a huge church in Weilburg because Dela was singing in the chorus. It was absolutely packed, and I was lucky to find a good standing spot in the back. The most exciting part of the concert was when the combined band and orchestra started playing Copland's Hoe-Down to my delight. I played this piece on my violin several years back, and if there was ever a person who asked me to name a truly American song, I would name this one (behind the National Anthem of course). Hoe-Down was by far the best piece that was performed that night, and I was proud to be American after hearing a little taste of home.

Saturday evening was definitely a different experience from my average Saturday night at home in America or France. I went out with Dela to a bar, where a lot of the French students and correspondents where hanging out. After literally climbing a mountain through the completely dark forest in the freezing cold, we reached the bar. I was completely overwhelmed by the smell of smoke when we opened the door. It was packed with people and there was a rock band screaming music at the top of their lungs. There was a sketchy crowd of motorcycle guys with long hair and leather outfits prowling the establishment, and I spent most of the time huddled against the wall breathing into my scarf. Several people came up to me during the night to tell me I looked bored, but in my defense, there isn't much to do at a bar like this when you don't drink, smoke, head-bang, or speak German. By the end of the night I was reeking of cigarettes and my coat, clothes, and purse are still perfumed with the scent.

Today, I went to a dinner with Dela at a friend's house. Some of the other French kids and their correspondents were there for the raclette, which is fondue cheese served over potatoes and charcuterie. The food was really good, and we spent all day there. I'm still kind of the odd one out with for all the functions because the French students all huddle together and smoke their cigarettes, and the Germans all stay together talking about, well, I have no idea. All in all though, Germany has been pretty fun. However, it's absolutely freezing here and I'm hoping the weather back in Privas will be mild again when I go back.

As time goes by, I'm getting more and more nervous about college deadlines, and I just really wish I could be finished already. I've barely got any time to do them, and when I do sit down, I'm at a lack for ideas. I will be so happy after I send them in, but it'll also be bitter sweet because I'll be leaving my first host family around the same time. They have been the best part of my experience in France so far, and I'm really sad to go. Luckily, I get to spend every Friday evening with them at the scary French chorus, so that's one thing I'm already looking forward to.

Writer's Block

                                                         Grenoble

I'm starting to accept the fact that writing is not one of my many talents. You are looking at a girl who can wiggle her right ear, eat an impressive amount of chocolate in one sitting, hold her breath for over a minute and a half, and do a pretty exact Napoleon Dynamite impression, but you are also looking at a girl who can't form a cohesive phrase. Now that I'm back to writing college essays, my English seems to be failing me and I'm out of clever ideas that show off my bedazzling personality.

Most of my days are spent thinking of bad ideas for essays that might be good for my blog. Ever since I started this blog, my sarcastic personality kicks in every time I sit down to write, so you can imagine all the failed essay attempts. In addition, I often find myself stopped in the middle of a sentence because I'm thinking of a basic word I've so easily forgotten. For example, I just spent about 10 minutes thinking of the word "impression" which was used earlier on in this entry. The simplest words are so hard to think of now, and since my French still feels far from fluent, I'm starting to convince myself that I don't know any languages. I fear for my future in college.

Since I'm leaving for Germany on Thursday for 8 days and time is quickly running out before deadlines, I've decided to bring my laptop with me. I really didn't want to, but at this point, I don't really have a choice. It took me forever to make up my mind that I was reapplying, so all those wasted days have to be made up somehow. This is going to be a short blog, because as you know, I've got other things on my mind and I should probably go work on them. Sigh. Let me know if anyone wants to write an essay for me; I've got plenty to share!

Reese's Emergency and Choir Practice

The other day, I was absolutely devastated when I bit into my Reese's and discovered there was no peanut butter. I don't know what happened during the fabrication of my chocolatey-goodness, but whatever it was, it better not happen again. Writing the company is definitely on the top of my to-do list, and I plan on getting some major discounts on my next chocolate shopping trip.

Yesterday, I was in half asleep in Spanish when I found out the teacher was handing out our average grade for the past 3 months of classes. Every grade is scored out of 20, and I was kind of shocked to hear that I received a 12.3. I know that doesn't sound like anything extraordinary, but it was actually higher than most people in the class. I think the teachers might have scored me higher so I didn't bring down the class average or something considering I haven't turned in one homework assignment all year. (Actually, that's a bit of an exaggeration: I turned in one homework assignment for my Spanish teacher back in November, but that's only because I had done the same assignment last year in French class and I had it saved on my computer.)

Now that I mention grades, let me just state another difference between high school in France vs. high school in America: there is absolutely no grade inflation here. At all. It's practically impossible to receive a 20 for an exam; I've only seen it happen once. 13 is considered a good grade, and it's not often that people get scored much higher. The first time I saw the teacher hand out test scores, I was surprised by how low they were. Then again, I'm the person who cried in the bathroom after receiving a 97 on a math test sophomore year because I incorrectly multiplied 8 x 8. (Trust me - crying in the bathroom was a one time occurrence and definitely a low point for me.) However, now that I've thought about it, this "no grade inflation thing" is how school really should be. It was so easy to get high grades at NHS, and there were about a bazillion students on the high honor roll, which is kind of ridiculous. A student should have to work really hard to receive a high grade, and since no one's perfect, near to perfect scores probably shouldn't be a regular occurrence.

Another fun fact for you all: I just discovered my class has a pair of twin boys. I was actually kind of embarrassed because I've been with the same group of 25 students for the past 3 months, and I just realized this yesterday. I don't know if I thought they were the same person or something, but I when I noticed the two of them sitting in front of me yesterday, I finally noticed the same exact faces and I came to my senses. I still don't know their names, but at least now I know there's two of them.

Last night, I went to a chorus rehearsal. I don't know if it's just me, but Friday night is a terrible time to have a choir practice. Friday is a day where most people should be partying, and I should be in my pajamas eating food and watching movies. Choir rehearsal from 8-11 isn't exactly my preferable way of spending the beginning of the weekend, but it was still kind of fun. The choir is singing three songs - one of which was composed by the members. I was expecting classical, churchy like pieces, but this is exactly opposite. The link below describes perfectly what I'm trying to say (this is the song the choir composed). Warning: this may shock some of you, and it perfectly describes the often bizarre French culture -

<http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xlgwqf_la-40eme-symphonie-de-mozart-la-clef-des-chants-de-privas_music>

Another song we're singing is the Lion Sleeps Tonight. I'm sure you all know it, but we're singing it in French, and the lyrics are absolutely morbid. Here's a small translation: In the jungle, the terrible jungle the lion died tonight. Poor lion :( Otherwise, it was good, and I'll probably be back again. That's all for now; I only have 3 more days of school before I leave for Germany on Christmas break so I'm pretty happy. Sure I'll have lots more stories to tell when that rolls around.

Accrosport Outcast

                                                Lycée Vincent d'Indy

When I last opened my blog, I realized my number of entries has been decreasing from month to month. I feel kind of bad because it's not like I'm out of things to write, it's just I've been too lazy to write them. (I've really been too lazy recently to do anything; college apps included.) Now that it's the start of a new month, I'll try to write a little more frequently!

Yesterday, my gym class started a new sport: Accrosport. This is my new least favorite sport in the world. I arrived at the gym and figured we would be doing gymnastics because there were all the rings and bars and bouncy floors and such, but boy, was I wrong! Apparently, Accrosport is a series of human formations such as pyramids and graceful poses and such. Since I'm about as graceful and poised as an elephant in a tutu, you can imagine my dismay for the sport. The class started off by doing "stretches." (If stretches include moving your wrists from side to side, doing backwards somersaults, and moving your hips around in circles, I guess we'll stick with that term.) It was the oddest thing I'd ever seen, and if I had brought my video camera, I totally would have taped it.

After limbering up a bit, everyone broke off into different groups to start doing the formations. I was placed in a group with none of my friends so it was quite awkward and the two hours passed unbearably slowly. Mostly, I stood there and watched everyone else making all the strange balancing formations. Just to add to the awkwardness of the whole story, I would also like to point out that French boys are weak. I know that most French girls are ridiculously short and tiny, so I was already one of the biggest girls in the class. Anyway, there was only one guy in the class who was able to lift me up. And I am not that huge. They all need to start going to the gym to lift some weights and stop rolling their hips around in circles if you ask me.

At the end of two torturous hours, the gym teacher announced that in the next couple weeks, we would all have to pick a song and choreograph a dancy-like routine complete with lifts and whatnot. Fun! I left accrosport with an ulcer and mat burns on my knees.

This past week, I had a lot of nice talks with other exchange students. Carolina, a Brazilian who lives in Aubenas (30 min. from Privas), came over for a sleepover. Girl talk and chocolate were definitely the focus of the whole visit. I also spoke to Pruthvi (India) and Lana (Australia) in a long Skype conversation yesterday. The other exchange students really turn into your best friends on a year abroad, and since they are really the only ones who understand exactly what you're feeling, I feel much less freakish after telling them all my problems.

The one thing I feel guilty about since I began school in France is how I treated the exchange students back in Norwich. I was never mean to them, but I never really made an effort to be a good friend to them either. I was content with all my friends, and now that I'm alone for a lot of the school day and every weekend, I wish that someone would make the extra effort that I never made. And I really think that it's just one of those things where you have to be in the shoes an outcast before you truly know how you should act. My opinions on a lot of things have changed since I've been here, and although it's not easy being the loner, I'm so thankful that I've been able to understand this viewpoint because of my year abroad.