This is officially my last morning at the Delenne's. This past week I've been anxiously waiting for the move, half wishing I could stay in my first host family, and the other half just ready to feel settled down again in a new home. When I left for exchange, my only worry was adjusting to life with a new family. Would they be friendly and welcoming? Or, would they be like my sister's host family in Spain; completely ignoring me and calling me a barbarian when I held my fork incorrectly at the dinner table? All those uncertainties and fears quickly diminished when I arrived; my host family was eagerly waiting at the terminal where they warmly greeted me with wide smiles and bisous.
Now that I have to leave at 4:30 this afternoon, I'm awaiting a new arrival. Sure, my French is better and I know a little more of what to expect. Nevertheless, I'm leaving a family that I love and a life that I've grown comfortable with. Antoine left this morning for a friend's house and we took our last pictures, filmed our last videos together, played a few more games of Ninja, and hugged about a bazillion times. I was doing all right until he walked out the door and I started crying. If it's this hard to move 15 minutes away, I don't even want to know what it'll feel like when I have to leave France at the end of the year.
To be completely honest, today almost feels like I'm starting all over again. This evening, I'll have to ask the few first awkward questions such as, "What name can I call you?" and "When is a good time to use the shower?" For the next few mornings, I won't know what time to wake up and whether or not I can eat breakfast in my pajamas. The initial uncertainties are back and I'm not sure what to expect. Everything is changing yet again, and now it feels even more difficult than my arrival because I'm so happy with the Delenne's.
Over four months have passed, and I've realize this year really does pass in a flash. Just yesterday, it felt like I was hugging my parents goodbye and lugging my suitcase to the airport. I vividly remember my arrival in France, my first view of Privas, and my first dinner of provençale tomatoes, eggs, cornichons, and saucisson. I've done so much while I've been here and I've already made lasting relationships, but I also can't remember the last time 4 months flew by this quickly.
Change will always be difficult. I'm starting another new life, but at the same time, this change (like every one before) means I have to leave something behind. I'm so grateful for the Delenne's and everything they've done to make me a part of their family. All I can do now is wait and have faith that everything will turn out for the best.
Remember, change not only means you must leave something behind you, but that you will be taking something with you. You are a "fuller" person after four months with the Delenne family - you knows what wonderful things are next on the horizon?
ReplyDeleteChange is the only constant in the universe. Anyone who is not changing is not living life to the fullest. You have been truly lucky to have so many wonderful memories of the things you have done with the Delenne's and you know in a special way they will be a part of you forever. The challenge ahead is to seek the very best possible with the Dolle's so that you are touched in an unique way again. It is with this attitude in mind that you grow to your potential and develop relationships that last a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteTo ease your deepest, darkest fears - no - I don't think anyone is quite like Julia. Twas like taking a 4-month etiquette class from an old-school Catholic nun in a language you don't understand.
ReplyDeleteYou have been very lucky, my dear, but you deserve it! I'm sure you'll do wonderfully regardless of the family from whom you are presently hiding your chocolates.